Exasperation
That has been the theme of this last week. It took awhile to figure out the name of the emotion I was feeling, but I think exasperation hits the nail on the head. Which, of course, begs the question: what am I exasperated with? To which, the only answer is EVERYTHING! :-)
I told my pre-natal yoga class on Monday, that now that everything is ready, all I have to do is to sit around worrying: I haven't practiced my hypnobirthing enough, David and I haven't done our breathing exercises, is Samantha going to be "too big", etc etc etc. My yoga teacher, a wonderful and wise woman, said that it is no surprise that I am thinking those thoughts; we are of a culture that has a hard time BEING, we would rather DO. And now, it is time for me to just BE.
Since Monday the exasperation has lessened. We did a lot of centering techniques in class to clear the mental clutter and I think it helped. Monday afternoon David and I continued to DO: we washed and detailed our two cars. I don't think they have ever been as clean as they are now! We then went for a walk (about 35 steps before I said, "ok, enough, let's go sit!") and sat at the wading pool and watched all the kids and their parents. It was very nice. Three years ago we would've run screaming in the other direction, but for some reason, our viewpoint has changed!
Tuesday we got up pretty early and went shopping for some new plants. Came home and did yardwork. Ah, who am I kidding? I did a lame attempt at weeding for about 10 minutes, before I decided I was done bending over. David stayed outside and got our front yard looking great!
Well, I'm off to work again. Tomorrow is my next appointment with a doctor, and it also happens to be my technical due date. We'll see what he says, but I am betting that Sam is going to be an August baby. Ohm.
I told my pre-natal yoga class on Monday, that now that everything is ready, all I have to do is to sit around worrying: I haven't practiced my hypnobirthing enough, David and I haven't done our breathing exercises, is Samantha going to be "too big", etc etc etc. My yoga teacher, a wonderful and wise woman, said that it is no surprise that I am thinking those thoughts; we are of a culture that has a hard time BEING, we would rather DO. And now, it is time for me to just BE.
Since Monday the exasperation has lessened. We did a lot of centering techniques in class to clear the mental clutter and I think it helped. Monday afternoon David and I continued to DO: we washed and detailed our two cars. I don't think they have ever been as clean as they are now! We then went for a walk (about 35 steps before I said, "ok, enough, let's go sit!") and sat at the wading pool and watched all the kids and their parents. It was very nice. Three years ago we would've run screaming in the other direction, but for some reason, our viewpoint has changed!
Tuesday we got up pretty early and went shopping for some new plants. Came home and did yardwork. Ah, who am I kidding? I did a lame attempt at weeding for about 10 minutes, before I decided I was done bending over. David stayed outside and got our front yard looking great!
Well, I'm off to work again. Tomorrow is my next appointment with a doctor, and it also happens to be my technical due date. We'll see what he says, but I am betting that Sam is going to be an August baby. Ohm.
posted by SeattleS | 7:32 AM
5 Comments:
It's good to hear from you, even with your exasperation :> Psychologically, you're in the hardest days of pregnancies. Having a mental calendar in your head of when it will be over and you'll be moving on to your next chapter of "mom" is hard. Each day, hour, minute, that you go over that "deadline" is tormenting. T was a week late, so I know what I'm talking about, here. Hang in there. Stay as centered as you can and go with the flow.... PS It's also hard when everybody you know calls you to see if you've had the baby yet. I bet you'll experience that soon, too.
I won't call - I'll be patiently waiting for the announcement however it comes. I'll just pray that you can stay "centered" and calm and as relaxed as a new mom-to-be can be. Just sit on a comfy chair and look out at the beautiful front yard that David so lovingly finished and breathe! I love you.
Thank you both!! It is funny - I have gotten calls asking if she's arrived yet. I have stopped calling people because I'm tired of answering that question!!
I appreciate your thoughts, and will do my best to enjoy these days. :-)
This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.
Hi Steph-
Would you please remove the last blog I wrote - don't want those names out there for the whole world to see! I think I'll email you this message too just in case you don't see it. Thanks!
Auntie J
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